I am just totally wiped. It was a long fucking week and a long fucking day. There was a lot of crap due which I didn't do until the last minute. I was sick all week, and I didn't sleep at all for 3 out of the last 5 nights. I am utterly drained. Physical exhaustion as well as mental and emotional exhaustion is closing in on me and suffocating any happiness I had. Sometimes, I picture my soul or identity as a piece of flesh stuck to a dirty wall with a rusty nail. A sadist comes up to the bloody chunk of meat and tugs on the edge of it, trying to see what will happen first: whether my muscle tissue will tear away from the nail sending me into a deep neurosis as I struggle to find my nail again (for it was the only source of my stability), or if the nail-meat combo breaks off the wall all together. I would then enter a psychosis from which I could never recover reality. I'm not sure who the sadist is in this freaky allegory; let's just say that it's God or Chance. If I knew how to cry anymore, I probably would, but I don't, so I can't. It's just hard to process all this shit and it's just as hard to avoid doing so. I'm usually a fairly mellow person and don't typically go off on odd emo-rants. But I dunno, the stress got to me today. So, I'll open up iTunes, and headbang the rest of my stress away. I'll finish up the Static-X tunes, then on to "Phantom of the Opera" by Iron Maiden and the coup de grace: "Painkiller" by Judas Priest. This speed metal classic will help me normalize. I also found a new band I've been meaning to investigate: Lollipop Lust Kill. I heard their song "Black All Over." It seemed pretty good.